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GREAT DISCCOUNT on HAWKE's first comic: PRIVATE DICK 1 

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GREAT DISCCOUNT on HAWKE's first comic: PRIVATE DICK 1 
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Post GREAT DISCCOUNT on HAWKE's first comic: PRIVATE DICK 1
GREAT COMIC! 22 PAGES FOR ONLY 4.99 EURO

PRIVATE DETECTIVE MARCUS COLT IS ON THE PROWL FOR A STOOL PIGEON ACCOUNTANT, BUT A TASTY TART IN A TINY, TIGHT DRESS WILL SERVE AS A NICE APPETIZER.

TINY VERA CARTER IS A PARALEGAL AT A LAW FIRM HOPING TO BRING DOWN A SMALL TIME THUG. UNFORTUNATELY FOR HER, SHE WAS IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME.



WE WELCOME HAWKE! :22


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Follow this link to order:
http://www.dofantasy.com/english/USAFC4 ... eDick1.htm

:234 :234 :234 :234 :234 :234 :234 :234 :234


Mon Sep 24, 2018 9:58 pm
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Post Re: GREAT DISCCOUNT on HAWKE's first comic: PRIVATE DICK 1
I was pleasantly surprised by this. There were things I liked and didn't like, but all in all it was really good. And at a much more reasonable price in my opinion. I hope Hawke keeps it up, and hope that it stays in that price range haha.

3d art is hit and miss for me. This was definitely a hit. Vera Carters body model is gorgeous. I love brunettes. Maybe that's sexist and shallow, but its true. Also the colors and lighting work really well for the noir-esk atmosphere.


I loved how quickly the story got into the action too. Exposition can be fun, but it can also bog a story down, especially with porn.
It was also nice how quickly Vera broke. Dofantasy heroines are often pretty monolithic. I feel like the writers often focus a little too much on the corruption of innocence fetish. Which don't get me wrong, that shit's hot, but its also a bit over done at this point.
Its fun seeing this educated, empowered woman reduced to a sexually submissive nympho so easily. And not entirely unrealistic character wise either. A lot of people in positions of authority, people who have a lot of control in their lives, find it relaxing to let someone else take control sexually. Not to say that r@ape is ever ok. r@ape is bad, no means no, if you roleplay do so safely.

That being said there were two main things I didn't like as much. The bigger thing was the dialogue. It was pretty generic and boring. It lacked subtlety to the point that it almost took me out of the story. I don't need a dozen thought bubbles from Vera about how surprised she is that she came. I can infer that from the fact that she came.
Perhaps a better route to go would be narration. Normally I think narration is a bit lazy, and dofantasy writers tend to use it a bit too much, but for the detective genre it works pretty well.
For example, on pg 17 Vera's incessant thought bubble says "Oh God I came so hard, Whats wrong with me?" Aside from how bland that is, if she just had a giant orgasm how is she still thinking so coherently.
Maybe instead of that the narration could have said something like
"Her breath caught in her throat as the orgasm took her. She began to convulse, her mind going almost blank. But even through the cloud of pleasure and fear, the part of her brain that could still think wondered, 'How am I enjoying this?'"
Perhaps that's a bit too wordy, I'm not a great writer, but I think it'd work better.

The other thing is this. We're lead to believe that the protagonist(villain?) is this sexually sadistic bastard. You don't really see that in the first issue. Just some vibrator, light bondage, and r@ape. All of which were beautiful (in a dark sadistic way) but not super inventive. I hope he gets a bit more creative in the next issue.

Anyways those are my thoughts. Sorry if they came off stuck up or pretentious. I am both of those things at times.
I look forward to more comics from Hawke. I look forward to seeing what happens to Vera. Does she end up at the bottom of a lake with cinderblocks tied to her feet? Is she sold off to some brothel? Or will she forever be Colt's pet lawyer, helping him with information from her firm, and indulging in his sick desires? 4/5 would recommend, especially at this price. :44


Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:37 pm
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Post Re: GREAT DISCCOUNT on HAWKE's first comic: PRIVATE DICK 1
Hey thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed it! This was my first time making a comic so I learned a lot while I was working on it. My initial version had more of a narration style, but then I ran into the issue where I had her gagged for periods of time in the next chapters and realized that without thought bubbles there wouldn't be any back and forth between them. You have a good point that it may be overdone and there's probably a better middle ground though. I'll keep that in mind for future comics.


Sun Oct 21, 2018 3:44 pm
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Post Re: GREAT DISCCOUNT on HAWKE's first comic: PRIVATE DICK 1
Sorry, I am a bit late to the party.

I liked Vera Carter and hope to see more of her. A nice red ball gag would suit her.
I am a big fan of nipple rings, would love to see her with some piercings.

I enjoyed the art work for the comic, nice quality and clear images.

Very much looking forward to Part 2 of the story.

An excellent first comic. Well done.


Sat Nov 10, 2018 11:23 am
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